One Without the Other
by The Madness Behind
Summary: Mello and Matt were inseparable. They were always there for each other. When Matt died, Mello knew he wanted to die too. Because one just couldn't exist without the other.


They were inseparable, Mello and Matt. It had been that way since anyone who'd known them could remember. The very first day that Mello had arrived at Wammy's, scared and alone, it had been Matt who befriended him and helped him adjust to his new surroundings. It had been Mello who had wound up with a broken nose for defending Matt against the trio of bullies who picked on him constantly after knowing the gamer for just two days.

As time went on and the two grew up together, they became steadily closer. Mello and Matt were always there for each other when one (or, occasionally, both) was having it tough. Mello would always stand up for his friend, no matter how terrible the consequences of doing so might be. And Matt was always there if Mello needed a shoulder to cry into, because he knew the blond would share his emotions with no one else.

Throughout his life, Matt had been plagued with terrifying nightmares about the murder of his parents, which he had seen with his own eyes. Whenever he woke up from one, drenched in sweat and screaming, it wasn't long before Mello was by his side. The blond boy would hold him, comfort him, and even sing to him – Matt was the only person in the world who knew what a truly beautiful voice Mello had. And when Mello held him, Matt felt safer than any other time in his life.

When both boys were thirteen, Mello had finally cracked under the pressure of being constantly left in the dust by Near and attempted suicide. Matt had walked into the room that they shared one day to discover Mello kicking away the chair he was standing on so that he could hang himself from a noose tied to the fan on the ceiling. However, because Mello weighed so little, he succeeded only in choking himself until Matt found his Swiss army knife and proceeded to cut the rope.

"Why did you stop me?" Mello had choked as Matt gently untied the noose from his neck.

"Because I don't want you to go," Matt had told him.

"I do…I'm worthless. Always s-second. I'm a s-second-rate loser."

Matt had reached down and hugged his friend tightly. "You're always number one for me, Mel," he'd said.

When Mello had stormed into their room one day and announced that he was leaving Wammy's, Matt hadn't even considered staying. In an instant, he was on his feet, packing alongside Mello. Before they'd left, Matt had hacked into Roger's files and copied literally everything on his computer onto several disks. He had also stolen enough money for them to buy plane tickets to the United States.

After, at age fifteen, Matt was raped by a man in Los Angeles, Mello had been there to help him through it. The blond would rock Matt to sleep whenever he'd have nightmares about the attack or his parents' murders, and sing to him like he did when they were young. Matt would later learn that Mello had followed the rapist home one day and beaten him to a pulp.

One day, Matt got a phone call from a terrified Mello, informing the gamer that he had just blown himself up. When Matt had arrived at the address that Mello gave him and slipped past the police surrounding it, he had discovered that Mello was telling the truth. And what was more, he had managed to blow up an entire building as well. He found Mello inside the twisted wreckage of what had once been a hallway, badly injured and mutilated but still very much alive. When he had seen Matt, Mello had taken his rosary in his undamaged hand and kissed it.

"God sends His angel to save me," he'd mumbled as Matt helped him up.

Matt had checked his friend into a hospital under a false name. He'd stayed with Mello night and day until the blond was well enough to go with Matt to the apartment that Matt had bought them. It was Matt's turn to hold Mello tightly when the blond had nightmares about explosions and flames and the smell of burning flesh. Mello now had a nasty scar across his face, and the only person who was ever allowed to even acknowledge that it existed was Matt.

When Mello decided to kidnap Kiyomi Takada, he told Matt that he would understand if Matt didn't want to join him – this was a suicide mission, after all. But Matt had just looked him in the eye and said, "Mel, if you die, I want to die with you."

The moment when they were closest occurred on what they both knew would be their last night on earth. It wasn't even romantic or sexual; in fact, it would have seemed rather trivial to anyone but the two.

"_Matt?" Mello said as he sat on the couch in their one-room apartment, cleaning one of his guns._

_Matt looked up from his DS. "Yeah, Mel?"_

"_My real name is Mihael Keehl."_

_Matt stared at him in silence for a long time. "Y-your real name?" he asked when he found his voice. "You're telling me your real name?"_

_Mello nodded._

"_Mel…that's…" He paused. Mello was crying. "What's wrong?"_

_When Mello shook his head, Matt got up and plopped down beside his friend on the couch. "I guess it's only fair to return the favor," he said. "My name is Mail Jeevas."_

_A second later, Mello had thrown his arms around Matt, and was hugging him tightly._

What Mello hadn't told Matt was that he'd realized something that he'd been denying for years: he loved the gamer. But he hadn't told him. He just couldn't.

And so, the moment Mello saw his best friend dead on television was the moment he truly didn't want to live anymore.

Oh, he'd known deep down he was going to die all along, and Matt had known too. But until that moment, he'd never stopped clinging to that tiny strand of hope that he and Matt might have made it out alive, as they had done so many times in the past. When Mello saw Matt slumped against his car in a pool of blood, he knew that a part of himself had died with the hacker. And the other part so desperately wanted to join him.

And, rather pathetically, the only words Mello could manage to find for the situation were "Matt…I got you killed. Sorry…" He felt like someone had liquefied his insides. It hurt, not physically, but in his heart and in his head.

He hadn't told him. And now Matt was gone forever, and Mello would never be able to tell him that he loved him. Never find out if Matt loved him back.

Mello sat back in the driver's seat and started to cry.

It didn't matter anymore. He'd do anything to see Matt again. He'd even let Near be the best, for all eternity, just to have Matt back.

Mello's blurred eyes caught sight of something in the distance. There was an old stone church by a turn in the road. Unconsciously, Mello's hand went to his rosary.

"I got you killed, Matt," he repeated quietly.

It was all Mello's fault. His pride, his arrogance, his obsession with being the best. And he'd used Matt, even if he hadn't been fully aware of it. Mello felt sick now in addition to his tears. He'd killed his own best friend…

And as the tears fell, Mello felt something else – a sharp, stabbing pain in his chest. He let go of the wheel and his hands flew to his heart. A moment later, there was a violent crash and Mello jerked forward limply against the steering wheel: he had crashed into the church. Fitting, so fitting, that he would die in a church, of all places…

With his last bit of strength, Mello reached up and wiped a tear from his eye.

And with his last breath, he whispered two words:

"_Mail Jeevas_."

His vision blurred, grew dark, and finally became black.

It didn't hurt anymore.

Mello felt something brush across his face, and he opened his eyes. He was looking up at a cloudless blue sky. Once again, he felt something tickle his cheek, and he sat up.

He was in the middle of a field. A pleasant breeze was blowing, causing the long grass that surrounded him to sway slightly. Mello reached up to his cheek to scratch the itch that had been produced by the grass tickling his face, and –

His scar was gone.

Mello felt the other side of his face, just to be absolutely sure he hadn't forgotten which side it was on.

No, it was definitely _gone_.

He stood up and looked around. There was an apple tree a few yards away from him, but aside from that all he could see was an endless field.

"Hello?" he called. "Anybody there?"

No answer. Mello took a few steps in a random direction.

"Matt?"

He wasn't sure why he was calling Matt's name. Maybe he wanted to believe that this was heaven and Matt would be there to greet him. Mello didn't know, and he didn't care.

"Matt? Are you here? Hello?" Mello looked around, hoping to see some sign of the gamer. But no.

No Matt.

Mello hung his head.

There was a rustling sound behind him. He spun around.

And his heart leapt.

Matt was standing by the apple tree, smiling.

"Matt…" Mello whispered.

"Mello," said Matt.

For a moment, Mello just stood there, staring at Matt. He was vaguely aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. Then he was running as fast as he could towards the gamer.

Matt smiled and held out his arms in a welcoming gesture. When the blond slammed into him, wrapping his arms tightly around him, he returned the embrace.

"I'm so sorry," Mello whispered through his tears as he hugged Matt. "I'm so sorry, Matt…"

"I forgive you, Mel," said Matt softly. He smiled.

Mello looked into Matt's eyes, then buried his face in his shoulder. Matt just held him tightly and didn't let go.

"Matt?" Mello said after a long time.

"Yeah, Mel?"

"I love you."

There was silence for a while, and then:

"I love you too."

Mello and Matt just stood there, content to hold onto each other just as they had done in life, for a very, very long time.

**The End**

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I know it's not the best work ever, but I don't think that's something you could say about anything written at 2:19 in the morning on a whim. I did this for the following reasons:

1. to avoid working on the next chapter of Mello, Change the World

2. See #1

If anyone has read the doujinshi called "Me Too", then you'll know where I got the inspiration for the ending scene. Absolutely love it.

Hope you enjoyed. I'd best be getting to bed before I start getting suspiciously L-like bags under my eyes and sitting in weird ways.


End file.
